How to stop drinking every night: a practical plan

Why a nightly drink is hard to break

A drink every evening is usually a habit tied to a moment: getting home, cooking, the children going to bed, sitting down in front of the TV. NIAAA, the US government institute for alcohol research, describes triggers as the people, places, times of day, activities or feelings that set off the urge to drink. For a nightly drinker, the main trigger is often simply the time.

NIAAA's overall advice is that small changes can make a big difference, and that if one approach does not work, you should try something else. It suggests picking two or three strategies to try in the next week or two, then adding others as needed. The steps below follow that approach.

Step 1: count what you actually drink

NIAAA lists keeping track as its first strategy. It suggests any method that works for you, such as check marks on a kitchen calendar or notes on your phone, and says that noting each drink before you have it may help you slow down when needed.

Count honestly. NIAAA points out that home pours and topped-up glasses often hold more than a standard drink, and suggests measuring drinks at home. The NHS counts a 175 ml glass of 12% wine as 2.1 units and a 250 ml glass as 3, so "one glass a night" can be very different amounts. Our standard drink calculator shows what your usual glass holds, and how many units are in a bottle of wine has a table by strength.

Step 2: choose your drink-free days in advance

NIAAA suggests deciding how many days a week you want to drink and how many drinks you will have on those days, and says it is a good idea to have some days when you do not drink at all. The NHS gives similar advice: take a break and have several drink-free days each week.

Pick the specific days now rather than deciding each evening, when the urge is strongest. You might start with nights that already feel easier, for example a night before an early start. The Dry January tracker works for any month and counts your alcohol-free days, so a night with a drink does not wipe out your progress.

Step 3: plan your trigger hour

NIAAA's advice for triggers you cannot avoid is to plan something else to do instead of drinking. For an evening habit, that means deciding in advance what you will do and drink at the exact moment you would usually pour one.

It also says that if drinking at home is a problem, you should keep little or no alcohol there. Removing the bottle from the fridge removes the easiest decision of the evening.

• Write down the time and situation when you usually have the first drink.
• Decide what you will drink instead at that moment, and have it in the house.
• Plan an activity for the first hour, for example a walk, a call or cooking something new.
• Stop buying alcohol for the house, or buy only what you plan to drink on drinking days.

Step 4: let the urge pass

Urges will come, especially in the first weeks. NIAAA suggests reminding yourself of your reasons for changing, keeping them written down or on your phone, talking to someone you trust, or doing something healthy and distracting, such as exercise or a hobby.

Its other suggestion is to stop fighting the feeling: accept the urge and ride it out without giving in, knowing that it will soon crest like a wave and pass.

Step 5: tell people and fill the evening

The NHS suggests letting friends and family know that you are cutting down, so they can support you. NIAAA adds that if drinking has taken up a lot of your time, you can fill it with new or renewed activities, hobbies and friendships, and if you have relied on alcohol to relax, manage moods or cope with problems, it is worth finding other healthy ways to deal with those.

The NHS also lists benefits that many people notice when they drink less, such as feeling better in the mornings, being less tired in the day and sleeping better. Our guide to why you wake up at 3 a.m. after drinking explains what alcohol does to sleep.

Cut down or stop completely?

NIAAA advises quitting rather than cutting down if you have tried cutting down but cannot stay within the limits you set, have had alcohol use disorder or have any symptoms of it now, have a physical or mental health condition caused or made worse by drinking, take a medicine that interacts with alcohol, or are or might be pregnant.

It also says that if you have not made progress in cutting down after two to three months, you should consider quitting altogether, seeking professional help, or both. Help can include medicines your regular doctor can prescribe, counselling and specialist programmes, as well as support groups.

When to see a doctor before you stop

If you have been drinking every night for a long time, your body may have adapted to it. The NHS warns that it can be very dangerous to stop drinking suddenly if you are dependent on alcohol, and says that if you get withdrawal symptoms, you should get medical help before you try to stop.

According to the NHS, withdrawal symptoms can include anxiety, difficulty sleeping, feeling sick, a racing heartbeat, sweating and shaking, and in severe cases hallucinations, confusion and seizures. They usually begin within 6 to 12 hours of the last drink. If you notice any of these on nights you skip, talk to a doctor; they can help you stop safely.

Common questions

When to get help

This site offers self-help tools and information, not medical advice. Talk to a doctor, or call one of the lines below, if:

• you feel shaky, sweaty, sick or anxious when you haven't had a drink;
• you find it hard to stop once you start, or you want to cut down and can't;
• drinking is causing problems with your health, work or the people close to you.

Before you stop: It can be very dangerous to stop drinking suddenly if you are dependent on alcohol. If you get withdrawal symptoms, get medical help before you try to stop drinking.

Sources

1. Tips to Try (Rethinking Drinking). National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov
2. To Cut Down or to Quit (Rethinking Drinking). National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov
3. Thinking About a Change? (Rethinking Drinking). National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov
4. Tips on cutting down on alcohol. NHS. nhs.uk
5. Alcohol units. NHS. nhs.uk
6. Drinking Levels and Patterns Defined. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). niaaa.nih.gov
7. Alcohol-use disorder. NHS. nhs.uk